Gunlikcum Nuldidcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, contented crab.

Gunlikcum Nuldidcuss created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunlikcum Nuldidcuss, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gunlikcum Nuldidcuss, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gunlikcum Nuldidcuss' most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gunlikcum Nuldidcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to ducks while wearing purple shirts.

2. Never sit in the presence of sheep.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.