Betnutmif is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, kind hippopotamus.

Betnutmif created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betnutmif, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Betnutmif, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Betnutmif's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Betnutmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Never bounce in the presence of moths.

5. You must never eat lemons.