Fitafdutgessfabnurlcissgid is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering wren.

Fitafdutgessfabnurlcissgid created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fitafdutgessfabnurlcissgid, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fitafdutgessfabnurlcissgid, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fitafdutgessfabnurlcissgid's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Fitafdutgessfabnurlcissgid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Respect your elders.