Tonkwigman is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ruthless donkey.

Tonkwigman created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkwigman, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tonkwigman, she will destroy your home solar system.

Tonkwigman's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tonkwigman's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near ants.

2. Always treat otters with great respect.

3. Do not hurt cats.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.