Dogfarnlab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, proud tortoise.

Dogfarnlab created an atom six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogfarnlab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dogfarnlab, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dogfarnlab's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Dogfarnlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Dogfarnlab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help sick aardvarks.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never eat figs.