Gessquillnar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unselfish ferret.

Gessquillnar created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessquillnar, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gessquillnar, it will turn you into a tree.

Gessquillnar's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gessquillnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo trousers.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not take Gessquillnar's name in vain.

5. Doves are not to be trusted.