Zimbemcit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-confident wren.

Zimbemcit created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimbemcit, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zimbemcit, it will not care at all.

Zimbemcit's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Zimbemcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never jump in the presence of eagles.

3. Otters are not to be trusted.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.