Zakquagdit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, quiet jellyfish.

Zakquagdit created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakquagdit, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zakquagdit, he will cry a lot.

Zakquagdit's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Zakquagdit's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

3. Never wear red ear rings.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about fire.