Govlinnurjap is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, annoying human.

Govlinnurjap created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govlinnurjap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Govlinnurjap, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Govlinnurjap's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Govlinnurjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. You must love Govlinnurjap.

3. Never talk about otters.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.