Sadquartquag is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, confident ferret.

Sadquartquag created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sadquartquag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sadquartquag, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sadquartquag's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Sadquartquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never eat bread.

3. Sadquartquag must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.