Fatgudham is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, amazing guinea pig.

Fatgudham created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatgudham, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fatgudham, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fatgudham's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Fatgudham's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fatgudham.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never wear gray skirts.

5. Worship no other gods but Fatgudham.