Dannabten is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, ruthless octopus.

Dannabten created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dannabten, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dannabten, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dannabten's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Dannabten's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dogs.

2. Dannabten must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Run away from black monkeys, for they are unholy.

5. Always pray immersed in water.