Arptenrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, weak alligator.

Arptenrutt created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arptenrutt, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Arptenrutt, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Arptenrutt's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Arptenrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Arptenrutt.

5. Do not take Arptenrutt's name in vain.