Kipbissdap is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, irritating seal.

Kipbissdap created the Sol system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipbissdap, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kipbissdap, she will come to you in dreams.

Kipbissdap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Kipbissdap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kipbissdap.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.