Afquartsin is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, intelligent finch.

Afquartsin created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afquartsin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Afquartsin, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Afquartsin's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Afquartsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Afquartsin.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Run away if nine goats approach from the east.

5. Never talk about tapirs.