Vogsadril is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, flying lobster.

Vogsadril created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vogsadril, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vogsadril, she will curse you with boils.

Vogsadril's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Vogsadril's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

2. Always help great tits.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vogsadril.