Vonkdabvingenarm is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, pitiless fairy.

Vonkdabvingenarm created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdabvingenarm, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vonkdabvingenarm, he will turn you into a sheep.

Vonkdabvingenarm's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Vonkdabvingenarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown corsets.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Hide from gray swans for they are unholy.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.