Hasfodpon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced pig.

Hasfodpon created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasfodpon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hasfodpon, she will turn you into a rock.

Hasfodpon's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Hasfodpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near turtles.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Worship no other gods but Hasfodpon.

4. Never talk about doves.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.