Saktapbag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthinking dove.

Saktapbag created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saktapbag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Saktapbag, he will be very sad.

Saktapbag's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Saktapbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.