Pophivripvig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, grumpy dingo.

Pophivripvig created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pophivripvig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pophivripvig, he will jump up and down on your head.

Pophivripvig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Pophivripvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always treat gulls with great respect.

4. Never wear purple skirts.

5. Do not bounce in public.