Ruttvagtab is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, impressive turtle.

Ruttvagtab created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttvagtab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ruttvagtab, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Ruttvagtab's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Ruttvagtab's Holy Commandments

1. Ruttvagtab loves whales, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.