Lamlankem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, humane eagle.

Lamlankem created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamlankem, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lamlankem, it will curse you with boils.

Lamlankem's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Lamlankem's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. You must never eat carrots.

5. Never go into violet rooms.