Gemnurtjon is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, prudent hamster.

Gemnurtjon created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemnurtjon, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gemnurtjon, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gemnurtjon's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gemnurtjon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Hide if nine gulls approach from the west.

4. Always help seals.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.