Wadcatbad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, proud meerkat.

Wadcatbad created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadcatbad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wadcatbad, he will not care at all.

Wadcatbad's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Wadcatbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never feed grapes to squirrels while wearing violet jumpers.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wadcatbad.