Bedwannutt is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthinking raven.

Bedwannutt created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedwannutt, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bedwannutt, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bedwannutt's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bedwannutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never paint your back red.

4. Never run near great tits.

5. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.