Flaggubwatpark Nullsagtonk Pitkanril is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, irritating armadillo.

Flaggubwatpark Nullsagtonk Pitkanril created the Milkyway four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flaggubwatpark Nullsagtonk Pitkanril, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flaggubwatpark Nullsagtonk Pitkanril, he will curse you with boils.

Flaggubwatpark Nullsagtonk Pitkanril's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Flaggubwatpark Nullsagtonk Pitkanril's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flaggubwatpark Nullsagtonk Pitkanril.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not eat lentils.

4. Never paint your arms brown.

5. Never wear green tights.