Fagwotxen is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, capable lizard.

Fagwotxen created a charm quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagwotxen, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fagwotxen, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fagwotxen's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Fagwotxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.