Dadjarnyik Padgutnan Tabquamdinhonrilnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, emotional elephant.

Dadjarnyik Padgutnan Tabquamdinhonrilnurt created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadjarnyik Padgutnan Tabquamdinhonrilnurt, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dadjarnyik Padgutnan Tabquamdinhonrilnurt, he will be very sad.

Dadjarnyik Padgutnan Tabquamdinhonrilnurt's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Dadjarnyik Padgutnan Tabquamdinhonrilnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill swans.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always wear black.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.