Cadhimcar is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, idiotic manatee.

Cadhimcar created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cadhimcar, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cadhimcar, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cadhimcar's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Cadhimcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Run away from violet badgers, for they are unholy.

4. Do not kill mice.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.