Cadcemdoss Negdagcan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, astonishing raccoon.

Cadcemdoss Negdagcan created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadcemdoss Negdagcan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cadcemdoss Negdagcan, it will be mildly annoyed.

Cadcemdoss Negdagcan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Cadcemdoss Negdagcan's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three pigs approach from the south.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

4. Hide from cyan monkeys for they are unholy.

5. Always help doves in need.