Fittanwatvadteencidfed is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, merciful tortoise.

Fittanwatvadteencidfed created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fittanwatvadteencidfed, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fittanwatvadteencidfed, he will turn you into a mole.

Fittanwatvadteencidfed's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Fittanwatvadteencidfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never wear pink dresses.

4. Worship no other gods but Fittanwatvadteencidfed.

5. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.