Lakyarlsat Vonbelljig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, amazing elephant.

Lakyarlsat Vonbelljig created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakyarlsat Vonbelljig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lakyarlsat Vonbelljig, she will turn you into a hamster.

Lakyarlsat Vonbelljig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Lakyarlsat Vonbelljig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.