Lopdudfot is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent bear.

Lopdudfot created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopdudfot, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lopdudfot, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lopdudfot's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Lopdudfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick dogs.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about gulls.