Sagtikbogwap is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unsympathetic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Sagtikbogwap created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagtikbogwap, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sagtikbogwap, he will turn you into a frog.

Sagtikbogwap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Sagtikbogwap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never think ill of sick snails.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always treat porpoises with great respect.