Bingemten is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ill-tempered newt.

Bingemten created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bingemten, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bingemten, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bingemten's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bingemten's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight tortoises approach from the south.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Hide if seven ants approach from the north.

5. Do not sit in public.