Gebarfzenvig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring cat.

Gebarfzenvig created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Gebarfzenvig, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gebarfzenvig, he will turn you into a snail.

Gebarfzenvig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gebarfzenvig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Gebarfzenvig's priests.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never feed nuts to squirrels while wearing turquoise shirts.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.