Zenfadnad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical squid.

Zenfadnad created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenfadnad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zenfadnad, he will turn you into a mouse.

Zenfadnad's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Zenfadnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Always look after injured whales.

5. You must pray to Zenfadnad three times a day.