Tomjipbot is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic cobra.

Tomjipbot created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomjipbot, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tomjipbot, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tomjipbot's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Tomjipbot's Holy Commandments

1. Tomjipbot loves seals, so they must be respected.

2. You must pray to Tomjipbot nine times a day.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never wear yellow hats.

5. You must love Tomjipbot.