Sincimsaf Tifgemsit is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, cheerful weasel.

Sincimsaf Tifgemsit created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sincimsaf Tifgemsit, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sincimsaf Tifgemsit, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sincimsaf Tifgemsit's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Sincimsaf Tifgemsit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles in need.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Put Sincimsaf Tifgemsit first in all things.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.