Kimbonkdag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, emotional manatee.

Kimbonkdag created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimbonkdag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kimbonkdag, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Kimbonkdag's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kimbonkdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Always look after injured manatees.