Cedgodnurlfumfotvon Artzigxinnab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-knowing deer.

Cedgodnurlfumfotvon Artzigxinnab created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Cedgodnurlfumfotvon Artzigxinnab, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cedgodnurlfumfotvon Artzigxinnab, he will be very unhappy.

Cedgodnurlfumfotvon Artzigxinnab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Cedgodnurlfumfotvon Artzigxinnab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Put Cedgodnurlfumfotvon Artzigxinnab first in all things.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.