Bissabnig is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, staggering owl.

Bissabnig created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bissabnig, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bissabnig, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bissabnig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bissabnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Hide if eight bats approach from the south.

4. Run away if six seals approach from the east.

5. Never feed rice to moths while wearing magenta boots.