Lamkansand is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthoughtful raven.

Lamkansand created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Lamkansand, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lamkansand, he will turn you into a dog.

Lamkansand's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Lamkansand's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. You must love Lamkansand.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.