Omincutzun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, cheerful faun.

Omincutzun created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omincutzun, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Omincutzun, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Omincutzun's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Omincutzun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill rats.

2. You must pray to Omincutzun nine times a day.

3. Never run in the presence of shrews.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.