Tiktamyab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, impressive wren.

Tiktamyab created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiktamyab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tiktamyab, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Tiktamyab's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Tiktamyab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Worship no other gods but Tiktamyab.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never paint your feet mauve.