Dosscussquam Jonbimnig Sagfumcap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, sapient tortoise.

Dosscussquam Jonbimnig Sagfumcap created the Cigar Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dosscussquam Jonbimnig Sagfumcap, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dosscussquam Jonbimnig Sagfumcap, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dosscussquam Jonbimnig Sagfumcap's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dosscussquam Jonbimnig Sagfumcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

2. Hide if seven pigs approach from the west.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Run away from red whales, for they are unholy.