Lagxemlap is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, duplicitous mouse.

Lagxemlap created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagxemlap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lagxemlap, he will destroy your favourite star.

Lagxemlap's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Lagxemlap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

5. Never laugh near turtles.