Tinzimzag Vegtimrak is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, able unicorn.

Tinzimzag Vegtimrak created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinzimzag Vegtimrak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tinzimzag Vegtimrak, he will turn you into a slug.

Tinzimzag Vegtimrak's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tinzimzag Vegtimrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention rats.

2. You must pray to Tinzimzag Vegtimrak three times a day.

3. You must never eat melons.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Tinzimzag Vegtimrak must be the most important thing in your life.