Vonklopnan Mandavbotkap is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, intelligent rat.

Vonklopnan Mandavbotkap created the Whirlpool Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonklopnan Mandavbotkap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonklopnan Mandavbotkap, she will try to impress you with trees.

Vonklopnan Mandavbotkap's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Vonklopnan Mandavbotkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands red.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vonklopnan Mandavbotkap.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.