Yarplogmum is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced monkey.

Yarplogmum created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarplogmum, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yarplogmum, it will refuse to believe in you.

Yarplogmum's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yarplogmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.